Proverbs Chapter 5
Warning Against Adultery (Proverbs 5:1–3)
“This is a tremendous chapter, dealing with a delicate subject daringly, and with great directness.” (G. Campbell Morgan)
A. The Warning Against Adultery
1. Proverbs 5:1–2 – The Call for Attention
My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding: That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
Solomon begins this chapter with a fatherly plea for his son’s attention. Wisdom must be actively heard and received for it to have its intended effect. He urges his son to incline his ear, to lean in with intent and focus. True wisdom requires both hearing and applying the truth taught by God’s Word. The phrase “pay attention” reflects the discipline needed to absorb instruction rather than merely acknowledging it.
The purpose of this attention is that one “mayest regard discretion.” Solomon desired his son not only to gain wisdom but also to preserve it. The struggle is not merely in obtaining discernment, but in maintaining it over the course of life. Especially in moral and sexual matters, discretion can be easily eroded through temptation. As Matthew Henry observed, it is not enough to begin well; one must guard the heart so that what has been learned is not lost.
Trapp commented, “Many men’s hearts are no better than stews and brothel houses, by reason of base and beastly thoughts and lusts that muster and swarm there, like the flies of Egypt.” The warning reveals the ongoing battle against lustful impulses that corrupt the mind and destroy discernment. Godly wisdom preserves moral restraint; without it, the conscience becomes dulled, and sin gains mastery.
2. Proverbs 5:3 – The Allure of the Immoral Woman
For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil.
Solomon describes the seduction of the adulterous woman using two sensory symbols—honey and oil—both representing sweetness and smoothness. Her words are flattering, appealing, and seemingly harmless, but beneath the surface lies danger. Her speech drips with charm and deceit, designed to disarm and entice. The imagery of lips and mouth signifies not only her kisses but also her conversation, which is the first weapon in her arsenal of temptation.
The descent into sin often begins with words. Flirtatious speech, emotional manipulation, or subtle communication lays the groundwork for moral failure. For this reason, Scripture continually warns believers to guard their tongues and ears. Proverbs 13:3 says, “He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.” Likewise, Ephesians 5:3–4 commands, “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.”
Oil, in biblical imagery, often represented joy, abundance, and honor. Isaiah 61:3 speaks of “the oil of joy for mourning,” and Deuteronomy 33:24 associates oil with prosperity. Thus, Solomon uses it ironically here: what once symbolized blessing becomes a picture of corruption when divorced from righteousness.
It is important to note that Solomon’s focus on the “immoral woman” does not imply that men are inherently moral or victims of women. He speaks to his son, warning him of the danger that most immediately threatens him. The principles of this passage apply equally to both men and women. In other contexts, Scripture equally condemns the seducing man (see Genesis 39:7–12 and 2 Samuel 11).
The “strange woman,” or literally “the woman who is not your wife,” is the archetype of forbidden temptation. Her allure is real, her charm persuasive, and her promises sweet—but all of it is deception leading to destruction. In Solomon’s time, as in ours, there were women who used their beauty and sensuality to gain pleasure, wealth, or power. What was once limited to the marketplace or hidden encounter is now glorified by culture and broadcast through every screen. Modern society celebrates the very immorality that Proverbs warns against, making this passage more urgent than ever.
The Danger of the Immoral Woman (Proverbs 5:4–7)
But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
The initial sweetness and smoothness of the adulterous woman’s allure quickly turn to poison. What once seemed like honey becomes wormwood, a bitter herb associated with judgment and sorrow. The charm that once enticed becomes like a two-edged sword, cutting and destroying those who fall for it. G. Campbell Morgan summarized this progression well: “It is a change from honey to wormwood, from the smoothness of oil to the sharpness of a sword, from the path of life to the highway of death.” The sword imagery emphasizes that sin’s pleasure is momentary, but its wound is lasting.
Her feet “go down to death,” and her steps “take hold on hell.” The path of the adulterous woman is not one of life but of destruction. She promises excitement and fulfillment, yet the end of her way is spiritual ruin. Those who follow her steps walk away from the path of righteousness into the shadow of death itself. Solomon warns that one must not even “ponder her path of life,” for the moment one begins to rationalize sin, the heart is already compromised. Her “ways are moveable,” meaning they are unstable, unpredictable, and deceitful. The one drawn into her web cannot discern her motives or her ultimate goal.
True love seeks the good of another in holiness, but lust seeks only its own gratification, even if it leads both parties to ruin. If sin presents itself as love or adventure, the wise will remember that genuine love never leads one to violate God’s commands. Those who think they know the heart of a seducer deceive themselves, for Solomon says plainly, “thou canst not know them.”
Solomon’s voice grows fatherly and urgent: “Hear me now therefore, O ye children.” The plural form broadens the appeal to all who would listen. Perhaps Solomon remembered the devastation that adultery brought upon his own household through the sin of his father David (2 Samuel 11). The warning is personal, born of experience. Disregarding such wisdom leads not only to moral collapse but to the corruption of the soul.
The Ruin Adultery Brings (Proverbs 5:8–14)
Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel: Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger; And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed, And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me! I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.
The wise course of action is separation, not negotiation. “Remove thy way far from her,” Solomon says. He does not counsel his son to test his strength by lingering near temptation but to stay far away from it. Distance is the greatest safeguard against moral failure. The Apostle Paul echoed this same wisdom when he wrote, “Flee also youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22). The one who stays within reach of temptation will eventually fall by it.
Separation must be not only physical but mental and spiritual. Believers must guard their minds from the modern equivalents of the adulteress—pornography, seductive media, and impure conversations. Paul exhorts in Colossians 3:1-2, “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above… Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.” Likewise, Philippians 4:8 reminds us to think on things that are true, just, pure, and lovely.
Charles Trapp insightfully warned that even those who outwardly abstain from sin may commit “mental adultery” through imagination and desire. He wrote, “Surely as a man may die of an inward bleeding, so may he be damned for these inward boilings of lust and concupiscence, if not bewailed and mortified.” The believer must therefore avoid both external and internal compromise. As Trapp further said, “He that would not be burnt must dread the fire; he that would not hear the bell must not meddle with the rope.”
Adultery robs a man of his honor: “Lest thou give thine honour unto others.” The loss of purity brings shame that cannot be easily recovered. What once defined a man’s integrity becomes tarnished. Wiersbe notes, “People who commit sexual sins think their problems are solved, but disobedience to God’s laws always brings sad consequences, and sinners eventually pay dearly for their brief moments of pleasure.”
Solomon continues, “And thy years unto the cruel.” The aftermath of immorality drains the vitality of life. Adultery may appear to add excitement, but in the end, it takes away joy, peace, and purpose. God’s command for marital faithfulness is not restrictive but protective—it preserves love, trust, and dignity.
“Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth.” In modern terms, adultery can lead to ruinous consequences such as divorce, financial loss, and disease. Waltke observed that although sexual immorality today may not lead to literal slavery, it still brings bondage through alimony, broken homes, jealousy, and loneliness. Trapp aptly said, “This sin is a purgatory to the purse, though a paradise to the desires.”
When Solomon writes, “And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,” he paints a picture of physical and emotional decay. Sin not only wounds the soul but affects the body. Whether through disease, anxiety, or the weariness of deceit, sin always exacts its toll. Clarke describes the word “mourn” as expressing deep groaning—like the growl of a lion or the crashing of waves—showing the agony of remorse.
Finally, the sinner laments, “How have I hated instruction.” The most painful fruit of sin is regret. Having refused counsel, despised correction, and silenced conscience, the adulterer looks back in horror at what he has lost. Poole interprets this as sorrow for consequences rather than genuine repentance, though Trapp leaves room for late repentance that may still be accepted by God’s mercy.
The end of such a life is public disgrace: “I was almost in all evil in the midst of the congregation and assembly.” What was done in secret is often exposed openly. God sees all, and sin has a way of revealing itself. Poole wrote, “I, who designed and expected to enjoy my lusts with secrecy and impunity, am now made a public example.” Even in this, divine justice serves as a warning to others that no sin remains hidden forever.
B. Find satisfaction in your own wife
Proverbs 5:15–19
“Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets.
Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee.
Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Proverbs 5:20–23
“And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger.
For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.
His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins.
He shall die without instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.”
Solomon exhorts the son to draw from his own cistern and well, which is a vivid metaphor for faithful marital intimacy. God has not left the man’s natural desires to wander without a righteous channel, rather, God has provided a covenant context that sanctifies desire and turns it toward holiness and joy. The image of waters suggests more than momentary satisfaction, it evokes refreshment, life, and purity. Marital intimacy is presented as the divinely appointed spring, not a stagnant pool, but running waters that are clean and renewing. Trapp notes that lust heats the heart and leaves it thirsty, and God therefore sends men to this well that He Himself assigned, so that thirst is quenched in a way that honors the Lord and protects the soul. This is not a concession to the flesh, it is a gift of grace that disciplines desire and converts it into mutual delight that glorifies God.
When Solomon speaks of fountains dispersed and rivers in the streets, he contrasts private covenantal joy with public promiscuity. The picture is not primarily one of fathering scattered children, though that may be included as consequence, it is a contrast between what is reserved and holy versus what is common and defiled. Waters belong within their banks, therefore the man must refuse to pour his life into public gutters. Wiersbe observes that adultery turns a beautiful river into a sewer, whereas chastity keeps the stream clear, fruitful, and life giving. Waltke notes that the grammar underscores the jussive force, let them be only thine own, which strengthens the admonition that marital love is private property, not common ground. God designed the marriage bed to be undefiled, as Hebrews 13:4 teaches, therefore the man who protects that privacy protects his own soul, his wife’s dignity, and the future of his household.
Solomon commands, let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Here the husband is not a passive victim of waning affections, he is called to choose rejoicing. Affections follow attention. A husband who chooses to honor his vows, to praise his wife, to order his life toward her good, will find his heart warmed again by the mercies of God. Common sense, as Ross notes, teaches that serial liaisons can never produce true intimacy, which is the fruit of years of faithfulness. The phrase the wife of thy youth reaches back to early days and calls the man to remember mercies, to renew gratitude, and to refuse the lie that novelty is superior to covenantal familiarity. Solomon himself failed here in practice, yet even he bears witness to the ideal that one woman gives a satisfaction a thousand cannot provide. Discontent in marriage is ordinarily a symptom of a disordered heart, not proof that God’s design is insufficient.
The Holy Spirit does not blush to sanctify erotic joy within marriage. The loving hind and pleasant roe are images of grace, beauty, and tender delight, and the explicit statement, let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, affirms the goodness of marital passion. God created sex for more than procreation, He created it for covenantal pleasure and bonding, and He fenced it with marriage not to diminish joy, but to protect it and amplify it. Kidner wisely warns that when marriage is treated as a mere business arrangement, human passions will seek unlawful outlets. Scripture answers by commanding holy intoxication, be thou ravished always with her love. Ross notes that the verb can carry the sense of being captivated or even intoxicated, which shows that God calls the husband to a delighted fixation upon his wife. This is not idolatry of the creature, it is obedience to the Creator who ordered human love within a holy estate.
On the strength of such provision, Solomon presses a practical question, and why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger. Given that God has supplied lawful joy, the magnetic pull of unlawful pleasure is exposed as irrational and thankless. Illicit passion is a counterfeit sacrament that promises thrill while it hollows the soul. The man who calculates that secrecy will secure impunity forgets that the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and He ponders all his goings. The Lord observes not only the acts, but the habits, the wagon tracks worn into the soul by repeated choices. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, therefore the reality of divine scrutiny must break the spell of imagined privacy. What is hidden from men is open before God, and what is cultivated in the dark will one day be shouted in the light.
Solomon concludes with the iron law of moral cause and effect. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he shall be holden with the cords of his sins. Sin promises freedom, yet manufactures ropes. Clarke describes how sinful indulgence moves from single act, to custom, to habit, and finally to a felt necessity that binds the will. Spurgeon pictures the sinner braiding his own ropes through thoughts, imaginations, and deeds, until he finds himself captive. Sexual sin is uniquely ensnaring because it unites body and soul in a counterfeit union, and it leaves residues of memory, comparison, secrecy, and shame that harden into cords. The end is solemn, he shall die without instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray. Waltke observes that this death reaches beyond premature physical death, it gestures toward eternal death in contrast to the life promised to the righteous. Trapp speaks with blunt clarity, that men who trade a place in the city of pearl for a handful of filthy delights behave like madmen. The warning is not to crush hope, it is to drive the man back to the cistern God gave, back to his vows, back to his wife, and back to the Lord who forgives, restores, and blesses repentance that bears fruit.
